


give us another epilogue

by GettingGreyer



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Bottom Doctor, Bottom Thirteenth Doctor, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Light Angst, No Plot/Plotless, Top River Song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-18 13:11:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21661354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GettingGreyer/pseuds/GettingGreyer
Summary: The Doctor had said goodbye to River Song, several times now; she had closed that chapter of her life behind her—leaving only heartbreak. The Doctor had assumed that she was never to see her wife again and she had accepted that, but now she's being confronted with a possible epilogue as her wife re-enters her life and the Doctor doesn't know whether to trust it and risk opening up her hearts again.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/River Song
Comments: 4
Kudos: 130
Collections: Rare Pairs Exchange 2019





	give us another epilogue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chamilet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chamilet/gifts).



The Doctor knew heartbreak better than most, better than she wished she ever did. That was the only one constant with immortality—death of everything finite, death of everything and everyone that she had ever held valuable. After dozens of centuries traveling throughout time and space, the Doctor had become well acquainted with loss in every sense of the word.

She hated endings and she knew exactly how it felt to reach that final page—to grasp for another, but only find a blank space. She knew the pain of having her hearts ripped open as everything she loved was torn from her fingers. She knew endings better than she knew beginnings.

And she wasn't prepared to be confronted by what she could only assume was another cruel epilogue. 

Their story was over, the pages of their shared diaries full, and the Doctor had let her hearts be broken and allowed herself to mourn. She moved on from their finished story, but it seemed time wasn't yet ready to let them go ….

"Hello, sweetie." Her wife spoke and the Doctor's hearts began to rip open anew. She never thought she would hear that voice again and she wasn't sure she was ready to lose it all over again.

The Doctor didn't respond to the woman who had just entered her TARDIS. Yaz and the others looked around in confusion—waiting for the Doctor to do or say anything to this bizarre intruder with the crazy and beautiful hair. But the Doctor didn't do anything. 

She didn't say anything. 

She just walked away, leaving River and the rest of the cruel epilogue behind her as she retired to the recesses of her ship.

She had lived for many centuries and the cruelty of the universe had never ceased to amaze her, but this was crueler than she ever imagined it capable.

* * *

The Doctor had a bedroom, but she rarely ever used it. Time Lords don't require as much sleep as humans do and the Doctor even less so. She spent as much time as she could being awake, distracting herself with every assortment of activity possible. And if she did happen to fall asleep, it was usually in the midst of another activity. The Doctor had woken up on the floor surrounded by tools and half-finished projects on several occasions.

So, the Doctor rarely ever used her bedroom. In fact, she hadn't stepped foot in the room at all with this new body and face. It hadn't been a deliberate choice, but now that the Doctor had entered the solitude of her room once again she remembered why she rarely came to it.

The room was littered with mementos to the past. In the corner of the room, she saw an old scarf scattered across the floor. The wall had a worn-out picture of someone the Doctor had said goodbye to a long time ago, promising to one day return. And sitting alone on a shelf was the Doctor's old tarnished blue book, filled to the brim with pages of memories bursting from its spine.

The Doctor wanted to remember, to hold them in her hearts and to never forget who she used to be and who she used to know. But it was at times like this that the Doctor remembered how much easier it would be to forget—to leave out the beginnings and middles in order to avoid facing the end. 

But the Doctor could never forget and she didn't want to, but staring at that tattered diary made her wish she did.

Their story was done.

It had been over, but …

"Found you," River Song stood leaning against the open door. She had a careful smile and her eyes looked vaguely worried. The Doctor's insides squirmed at the sight of the familiar loving gaze. 

"You're not supposed to be here." The Doctor's voice was hard, but River could hear the cracks.

"Says who?" River grinned, a teasing smile on her lips.

"River, I thought …" The Doctor paused, struggling to bring the words to the surface even as they painfully boiled in her throat. "—I thought our timelines were done crossing. They are done! You shouldn't be here." The Doctor's eyes burned, but she pushed the pain down. "You can't be here."

River scoffed, "And when has that ever stopped me? When has it ever stopped you, love?" River walked over to the Doctor and gently reached her hand out. 

The Doctor hesitated at the outstretched hand, but gingerly she reached forward and held River's hand in her own. Her thumb rolled over River's skin, smooth but lined with small scars and worn with time, as she gently squeezed it.

"You're really here, aren't you?" The Doctor's voice was weak and vulnerable. The soft sound fell through the air like glass, quickly cascading towards a shattering end, but River's hand was there and she caught her. River held on, anchoring the Doctor to her.

"I'm here," River pressed a light kiss to the Doctor's forehead and warmth bloomed from it, enveloping the Doctor in a peace she hadn't known for a long time. "I'm always here."

River pressed her lips against the Doctor's, who remained limp and cautious in River's embrace. The familiar lips inspired waves of searing heat and scorching electricity throughout the Doctor's body. She hesitated into the kiss, waiting for River to vanish into thin air—but she didn't, and the Doctor fully embraced the woman in front of her with a deep kiss.

The Doctor was startled at the sudden introduction of a tongue sliding across her lips—she hadn't done this in a while and found her new body wholly inexperienced—but she quickly fell into her old patterns and opened her mouth. River, always the more confident one, plunged forward. 

She poured everything into the kiss and the Doctor struggled to hold onto every bit of it—love, passion, yearning, and sorrow; River kissed with her soul and the Doctor was left in awe.

Her own lips struggled to match River's frantic, yet gentle, pace; her mind was still running in a discordant symphony of conflicting thoughts _—River can't be here—River is here!—River is dead—River is right here in the Doctor's arms waiting to be kissed!_ And the Doctor relented, she pushed every doubt away and focused on the solid—not ethereal or ghostly but real!—woman in front of her and she kissed her.

The Doctor's hands slid up River's side before finding familiar purchase on her wife's breasts. She pressed one last kiss on the woman's lips before moving fevered kisses down River's neck as her hands gently squeezed the soft mounds. The Doctor smiled at the familiar sound of River's moan, the first of many that night.

"You're—" River gasped, struggling to find the words of what was meant to be a clever and witty sentence. "W–what's gotten into you?"

The Doctor paused her ministrations and gazed into her wife's eyes. "I've missed you, River." She returned to River's lips and gave her a deep kiss—pouring everything she had ever felt, that words could never say, into that kiss.

"I've missed you too," River spoke barely a whisper, but those words echoed in the Doctor's mind.

River pushed the Doctor onto the bed and she pulled her shirt off, revealing her soft breasts. The Doctor reached forward, desperate to touch the woman towering over her, but River grabbed the Doctor's wrists and pushed them over her head. "Not yet, love." River teased. "First, we have to get you naked. And only when you're begging and desperate will I grant you the privilege of touching me."

The words sent a hot flush down to the Doctor's core, but she nodded to River's words. The Doctor forgot how much River enjoyed playing games—she forgot how much she loved playing those games.

River removed her hands, but the Doctor kept still, keeping her hands above her head. River slowly began removing the Doctor's apparel.

River pulled up the Doctor's shirt slowly, inch by inch, and as she did so she kissed the Doctor's taunt belly slowly, inch by inch. The Doctor felt herself grow tighter under River as her searing kisses wound the Doctor up. Her lips felt warm and soft as heat spread across the Doctor's body and as River kissed upwards, the Doctor felt her own heat traveling painfully downwards towards her core. 

River finally pulled the Doctor's shirt completely off and her gaze instantly lands on the Doctor's chest. Her hands reached out and stroked the soft mounds and her finger stroked the hard nipple, causing an electrifying moan that ripped through the Doctor's throat. River smirked. "That's new. I think I really like this new body of yours, Doctor."

River pressed a kiss into the Doctor's soft breasts while the Doctor struggled to remain calm as she felt herself losing control. Sounds escaped her throat without her consent as River kissed her chest. River's hand rose and fell over every inch of the Doctor's body and the Doctor was losing control as her clit throbbed between her legs. 

She pressed her legs together, anything to ease the pressure, and for a sheer second the Doctor found comfort in that slight relief—before feeling a leg push through her legs, separating them, while avoiding putting pressure on her hot center.

"So impatient, Doctor." River's eyes were filled with delight and the Doctor realized that this is exactly what she wanted to happen. "I told you," River move across the Doctor's body until her legs were around the Doctor's head, her wet core above the Doctor's face. "Not until you're desperate."

The Doctor wasn't sure when River removed her pants, but she was delighted at the sight before her and she hungrily labbed at River's clit. Her tongue rolling through the pink lips and drinking up the fluid before finding the hard bud. Her tongue circled River's clit, all the while she was rewarded with the delightful sounds of River moaning and mewling.

She was so controlled—gripping the Doctor's hair and guiding her to all the places she needed to be felt as she commanded the Doctor with orders, but it was all a beautiful charade and the Doctor could see, hear, and feel just how close River was to falling apart. The Doctor sucked at River's clit and the woman fell apart around her as she pulsed and released a final moan.

"You–" River struggled to speak as she came, her voice shuddering along with her orgasm. "You've always been good at that."

"I'd hope so," the Doctor moved forward and pressed a kiss on River's forehead. "I've had a lot of practice."

River flushed against her and the Doctor couldn't stop staring at her wife's face. She was here with her … again. 

"You can be quite smooth when you want to be." River pushed the Doctor back down on the bed, her hands sliding down the Doctor's body. As her fingers slowly dipped closer to the Doctor's throbbing center. "But you've never been very good at controlling yourself." River's finger gently flicked her clit and the Doctor instantly let out a loud moan as she thrust her hips forward. 

"So eager, so desperate … but not begging." River's touch sent waves of pleasure, but her gentle touch didn't do nearly enough. The Doctor needed more.

"Please, River. I need you." The Doctor's hips kept moving towards River's fingers but she just gently moved away … touching but still just out of reach. " _Please_ , River! I need you to fuck me."

"You're beautiful when you beg." River sunk two fingers into the Doctor as her thumb rubbed circles against the Doctor's clitoris. That was everything the Doctor had been waiting for—River thrust into her and within moments the Doctor felt her body relax and convulse with pleasure and release. River put in a third finger as she pulled the Doctor forward into a bruising kiss, her moans becoming muffled against her wife's lips. 

It felt like an eternity, a passing second of it, before they pulled away. The Doctor was breathing deeply and River couldn't stop staring at her, her face bright with a smile that the Doctor had almost forgotten. 

"You really were desperate. I don't think you've ever come so fast after I've started touching you." 

The Doctor flushed, "It's been a while."

"It was fun," River had the warmest and brightest smile on her face and the Doctor wonders if she'll ever see it again after tonight. The Doctor didn't know if she could bear losing it all again ….

"I love you." It wasn't the first time the Doctor had ever said the words, least of all to River, but the words startled both of them. The Doctor tried to ignore the slight stinging and wetness in her eyes and River gazed at her with an unreadable, but soft, expression. 

River kissed the tears at the corner of the Doctor's eyes and grinned as she stared at her Doctor. "I love you too, sweetie."

The Doctor smiled and she closed her eyes with the arms of River Song still enveloped around her. The Doctor rarely slept, but she slept blissfully that night.

* * *

The Doctor eyes slowly opened as her hand cautiously reached for the ghost of a woman beside her, but her fingers only grasped meekly in the air before curling into the bedsheet. River had left once again and the Doctor could already feel the burning in her eyes as tears threatened to leak.

The Doctor looked beside her, hoping against logic that she would see the figure of her lost wife, but logic won and the woman was gone. It was too much to hope for, River rarely stayed with the Doctor and, likewise, the Doctor rarely stayed with River. 

This is how it has always been, the two of them stranded across the echoes of space and time waiting for the inevitable eclipse of their meeting.

But eventually it would all come to an end—they would end; but not yet.

The Doctor eyes caught sight of a blazing TARDIS-blue book on the nightstand and her hands reached for it. It was exactly like the one she left for a newly-regenerated River Song so long ago. The Doctor opened it and was met with blank pages, hundreds of blank pages awaiting to be filled with new adventures that had yet to come.

The Doctor and River were a story of middles and endings. The day she, at the time he, met her was one such ending. But as the Doctor's hands flipped through the empty pages, she felt like she was at a new beginning. Maybe their story didn't have to end. Not yet, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was supposed to be published ages ago, but I'm a perfectionist and I kept rewriting—especially with the sex scene. Anyway, I hope all of my agonizings over words and sentence structure worked out for the better and the fic is enjoyable. (And, I am still working on the Missy/River fic. It isn't abandoned. Just being ruthlessly beaten by me.)


End file.
